Stories From My Hands: Laughing Through Your Pain
Throughout my writing, I want to share my hands on experiences when working in a Long Term Care (LTC) community.
Working within this type of environment I have gained knowledge from the residents, family members, and staff.
[Disclosure, I will never share stories with identifying information, for confidentiality purposes—social worker code of ethics!]
So if you can recall, I was a little hesitant to work in the field of dementia due to my past familial experience.
Witnessing my great Grandma Trollie go through the ups and downs of the disease was frightening.
Yet, I took on the challenge as a young, bright eyed intern during my first internship at a LTC.
I entered in the community, ready to fill my hands with experiences and knowledge.
I was eager to learn how all of my studies would apply directly in the “real world.”
I learned quickly that day….
As I entered the memory care neighborhood, I could hear the distress, moans and groans of the care staff about a particular resident’s ‘behavior.’
“She’s in a bad mood.. She keeps fighting back.. Just leave her alone for now.”
Well, being the new girl in the building, I figured, maybe I could try to assist the resident and turn a bad situation into a positive one.
I knocked on the resident’s door, and gently called her name, “Mrs. Carrington, may I come in?” [not her real name, remember].
I didn’t hear a response, so I entered. She was sitting in her chair facing the window.
Lights dimmed, room completely silent. I came around to greet her from the front.
“Mrs. Carrington? How are you today, my name is Ashley.”
>>Dementia note: We learn in the field, the importance of dignity — Entering the room after being invited in, calling the resident by their preferred name, walking slowly from the front to greet the individual, and introducing yourself appropriately. Every single encounter<<
As I kneeled down to meet her at eye level, I noticed the heavy tears streaming from her eyes.
She was humming and crying.
She had a very flat affect and was distant in conversation. I proceeded to ask, “Why are you crying?”
No response. She began rocking back and forth. Pushing the chair.
At this stage in my learning, I was unsure of what this meant, and all I could recall were a few techniques I recently learned in my course studies.
One technique I remembered, was suggested by the physical and occupational therapy departments: Sensory calming – to apply light to moderate pressure to the muscle of the individual to provide a calming effect.
I was nervous. So, instead of applying light pressure, I decided to try my own “therapeutic” approach and I gently placed my hand on her hand.
Next, I was greeted with a lovely slap to the face.
You heard right! Face burned from the force of her brick heavy hand. I was shocked.
My entire face was flushed, and I am POSITIVE I saw little birdies and stars flying right above my head.
Mrs. Carrington looked me dead in the eyes, no longer distant, threw her head back, and began laughing hysterically.
My face in pain, and a bit frustrated from my failed attempt of my own “intervention”, I couldn’t help but laugh with her!
“WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS GIRL DOING,” she must have thought.
“I’LL SHOW HER NOT TO EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!” She continued laughing.
WE continued laughing..