The Dementia Caregiver’s Holiday Wishlist
Stockings and presents under the tree.. and the biggest question is, “What type of gift do I get my loved one living with dementia?!”
Around the holidays, gift giving for an individual living with dementia can get tricky. Luckily, there are TONS of articles, helpful tips, and gift recommendations available for families to refer to.
One great resource: Us Against Alzheimer’s providing helpful gifting ideas (click link).
BUT I started thinking, *I rarely find information on what to get the CAREGIVER around the holidays*
Many times, caregivers are the forgotten piece to this important puzzle. However, there would be no holiday without the caregiver making it possible!
So, if you’re wondering: “What do I get for the caregiver in my life who is often forgotten and deserves some attention,” see ideas below:
The Dementia Caregiver’s Holiday Wishlist
- Adjust your expectations & give me permission to take care of me
- It may not be best to have a house full of people this year. Understand that this is due to the demands of caregiving, the dementia diagnosis, and keeping our LOWD safe from COVID.
- Check in prior to your arrival
- Ask what is needed for the holiday. Ask what you can bring to assist. Ask if it is still a good time to come.
- Take my concerns seriously about our loved one and their needs
- Caregiving 24/7 provides me with an unmatched knowledge and experience. Trust that my concerns are valid.
- Offer assistance with meal preparation and/or decorating
- Find ways to assist when needed. And if you don’t see too many decorations this year, don’t be critical.
- Be flexible
- Maybe we can do a potluck this year to help relieve the stress of cooking the entire meal. Or possibly celebrate over lunch to avoid a Sundowning incident.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself when you visit
- Do not expect our loved one to be the same. You may notice changes since the last time you saw him/her.
- Be respectful & patient with me and our loved one
- If you recognize changes in our loved one, let’s discuss in private or during another time for a family conference or meeting.
- Simplify holiday activities and traditions
- Be open to simplifying traditions and starting new ones, that allow for our loved one to be honored and supported.
- Educate yourself on dementia and the disease process
- Be an informed caregiver or dementia advocate and learn about the disease process. Keep all judgement out.
- Look out for signs & symptoms of caregiver burnout and fatigue
- I am often tired and running on empty. Support me & my well-being.
- Offer to give me Respite
- Stay with our loved one so I may have time away from caregiving. Offer to pay/provide in-home care coverage during the holiday.
- Adapt gifts for me as a caregiver
- Offer to pay for homemaker services, yard work, and handy man services; give gift cards to get a massage, dine out at a restaurant, or have a salon day.
- Check in after your arrival
- Reach out to your loved one outside of the holiday times. They are important and value your love & thoughtfulness. Do not forget them.
- Give me the space and opportunity to say NO
- Even with the best intentions, we may not be able to celebrate the way we used to. Know that I am doing my best.
Sounds reasonable right?! Happy holidays and happy gift giving! 😉 Let me know if you have any additions!