..It All Makes Sense

I’ll never forget the day when I traveled with my family to visit my grandparents in Youngstown, Ohio. (This isn’t your typical “to grandmother’s house we go” type of story.)

As we arrived, my brother and I busied ourselves in the living room playing, watching TV – the usual. It didn’t take much time, until I could hear faint screaming in the background.

“What is going on in there?” is all I could think. So of course, being the curious kiddo I was, I walked to the back of the house where the bedroom was.

The screams became louder.

And LOUDER.

Until, finally I reached the door. With the tender eyes of a 6 year old, I watched my mom and my grandma try their best to calm down my Great grandma, as we called her, Grandma Trollie..

“Boy she has a tight grip!” I thought to myself.

I saw my mom trying to help Grandma Trollie change her clothing. The sounds went back and forth from screams, to laughs. Screams to laughs… What a sound!…[I’m giggling even as type this, because if you know my Grandma Trollie, you also know that she had a very distinct laugh that came straight from the belly.]

How was it that one moment she was screaming, twisting, and pulling, and the very next moment, she was laughing and playing nice?!

I stood there long enough to have a solid mental picture which confused me beyond belief. Well, that didn’t last long, as my mom came to shut the door and asked me to go play with my brother again.

These vivid images stuck with me for years to come. Even to this day. I was not sure what I was being equipped to learn at such a tender age, but now it all makes sense..

My great Grandma Trollie was battling a very difficult disease known as, Alzheimer’s disease, and my mom and grandma were her caregivers. I had no clue as to what that entailed back then. But now it all makes sense..

Even for those of you who are familiar with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, you are aware of how the impulsive behaviors, outbursts, and bold statements, some-times do NOT make sense..

I honestly think that image confused me, so much, that I made up in my mind I would never work in a field related to Alzheimer’s disease. I saw it literally rip my grandma Trollie’s dignity to pieces, while viewing my grandma in tears as her primary caregiver. I wanted no part in that. So to be here decades later, is ironic, but it all makes sense..

Even when I switched my major in college to Gerontology (the study of aging, in case you were pondering,) I was determined that I would work with the more “active” aging community.

I had pleasant memories of that type of experience: Sitting on my grandpa’s lap and enjoying a Babe Ruth, his favorite candy to give out to his grandkids – His grey beard tickling my cheek when he would kiss me, and call me “Suga man!”

THAT was the “active” aging community I had desires of working with. I had no interest to ever enter back into that confusing world of Alzheimer’s.

Well, as the saying goes, if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans! Because the plans that I had for myself, were very different compared to the plans God had for me..

And over the past 10 years, I have been one of the very few millennials who has taken a deep interest in the field of aging and dementia care.

When I finally recognized this was the field I was called to be in, I even had several people ask me,

“Why would you ever choose such a field at your age? Why would you want to work with old people?”

..and the only sound response I could give at the time was, “I don’t know but I feel led to it.” Now, it all makes sense.

I don’t just feel led to it, or passionate about it. It is my calling. I have been called to serve and to serve in a field that is often forgotten, judged, stigmatized, and deemed as “demented.”

Now a days, I hear someone say the word “demented,” and my skin crawls. Because all I can think back to are the screams, laughs and tears I witnessed as my grandma Trollie battled with this heartless disease.

She was not “demented.” She was robbed—of her voice, sometimes even her own dignity. I have come to learn today that this disease is far beyond senility and what the media depicts as a case of “senior moments.”

Now as an adult, I also watched my paternal grandma (Nana) experience the long-term effects of dementia. [I’ll share more in due time.] At a more mature level in my life, I now understand the devastation of the disease and its impact on individuals with the diagnosis and their care givers.

I have sat with my own family and had “care consultations” discussing disease education, care planning options, and next steps as a family. It all makes sense.

I hope that as God continues to show me his plans for my life in this field, that I can invite you on the journey. From the good, bad, and sometimes confusing moments of this disease, I plan to continue to share my knowledge and experience in this arena. Join me.

It will all make sense..